Fabulous Tips For Having A Better Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful and fulfilling bond between two people who love each other deeply. However, every relationship has its ups and downs, and it takes work to maintain a healthy and happy marriage. Here are fifteen tips for having a better marriage with your spouse:

1. Show Appreciation & Gratitude: Showing appreciation and gratitude towards your spouse is crucial in maintaining a healthy marriage. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate them and how grateful you are for the little things they do. Simple gestures like saying "thank you" or writing a thoughtful note can go a long way in making your spouse feel valued and loved. Consider making them dinner or doing the laundry as a way of thanks. Express your love and affection by letting your spouse know how much they mean to you.
2. Make Time For Each Other: With the demands of work, family, and daily life, it's easy to neglect spending quality time with your spouse. Make time for each other, whether it's going on a date night, taking a walk together, or simply sitting down to talk. It's important to prioritize your relationship with your spouse and make it a priority.
3. Practice Forgiveness And Let Go Of The Unimportant Annoyances: It is natural to get annoyed, hurt, and angry at/with your loved one. Maybe, he didn’t pick up his dirty underwear. This annoyance becomes a pebble you carry around on your back. She forgot to buy my beer. He didn’t do this. She does this. Soon, you both are carrying around so many pebbles on your shoulders, you can’t even stand up straight. Isn't that heavy? Let go of those pebbles. Most of those pebble aren’t really worth holding on to anyway. If the annoyance is not worth mentioning it to your significant other, it’s not worth holding onto with fiery vengeance. So do both of yourselves a favor and let go of your past annoyances. Talk about what is important and if it’s not, feel your annoyance and then let it go. By letting go of these grudges, you will help prevent resentment from building up. Forgiveness can help heal past wounds and strengthen your relationship. It shows both partners that they don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love. Both you and your partner deserve more grace and love.
4. Respect Each Other's Differences: No two people are exactly the same, and it's important to respect each other's differences. Respect their boundaries and don't belittle or criticize them. Accept your spouse for who they are and appreciate their unique qualities and strengths. Learn to find ways to work together as a team. Brainstorm to find unique solutions that help both parties. This may take some time, so be patient with yourself, your partner, and life.
5. Keep The Romance Alive: It's easy for the romance to fizzle out in a long-term marriage, but it's much more fun to keep it going. Think, bonfires, picnics, cuddles on the sofa, affectionate words, kind gestures. Keep that spark alive by doing things that you both enjoy. The key here is to be mindful of your partner’s love language. If your partner’s love language is gifts, consider a heartfelt customizable gift. If your partner's love language is words of affirmation, write them a love letter. If their love language is acts of service, consider doing a chore for them. It’s important to gift them a gift that not you would want, but he/she would want.
6. Support Each Other's Dreams & Goals: Supporting your spouse's goals and dreams is important in any marriage. Encourage each other to pursue your passions and provide support along the way. Celebrate each other's achievements and be a source of motivation when things get tough.
7. Manage Conflict Through Active Listening & Create A Safe Space To Be Vulnerable: Conflict is inevitable in any marriage, but it's important to learn how to manage it effectively. Focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame, and work towards a resolution together. Look at the mindset you have when speaking to each other. Are you speaking with a condescending tone because you assume your spouse is ignorant and stuck in their ways? Consider that your spouse is not “dumb.” It’s possible that your spouse was just never taught. He/She grew up in a different household, doing things differently. Speak from a viewpoint of compassion when trying to resolve conflict. Usually, your partner will only open up when you create a space where they feel safe and not judged. Only then will they open up and be willing to change. Japanese writer Haruki Murakami said, “Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.”
8. Keep A Positive Attitude By Being Proactive: A positive attitude can go a long way in maintaining a healthy marriage. See the good in your spouse and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Instead of being negative and complaining, focus on finding solutions and making improvements. You are not a victim. You are responsible for what you create. This also means you are fully capable of getting yourself out of whatever unhealthy negative habits you both have created in the relationship. For example, instead of passively complaining, let him/her know what it is you want and then move on.
9. Let Go Of The Little Annoyances: It is natural to get annoyed, hurt, and angry at/with your loved one. Maybe, he didn’t pick up his dirty underwear. This annoyance becomes a pebble you carry around on your back. She forgot to buy my beer. He didn’t do this. She does this. Soon, you both are carrying around so many pebbles on your shoulders, you can’t even stand up straight. Isn't that heavy? Let go of those pebbles. Most of those pebble aren’t really worth holding on to anyway. If the annoyance is not worth mentioning it to your significant other, it’s not worth holding onto with fiery vengeance. So do both of yourselves a favor and let go of your past annoyances. Talk about what is important and if it’s not, feel your annoyance and then let it go. Both you and your partner deserve a little more grace. You will feel might lighter and happier.
10. Share Responsibilities: Sharing responsibilities in a marriage is an important way to ensure that both partners feel valued and respected. This means dividing household chores, parenting responsibilities, and financial obligations in a fair and equitable manner. NOTE: there will be times when you can't share equally, that is why you have a partner to lean on at times. Just make sure you are pulling your weight when you can. This will go a long way to making your partner feel loved.
11. Be Patient and Understanding: Patience and understanding are important qualities for any relationship. This means being willing to work through challenges and difficulties with your partner, and being patient and supportive as they navigate difficult times. Check your tone, your attitude, and your energy regularly to make sure you are acting the way you know will serve your relationship's highest good.
12. Seek Help When Needed: It's important to recognize that no marriage is perfect and that sometimes "inside" help may be needed to resolve issues and strengthen the relationship. Instead of looking to outside sources for help, look inside yourself. How are you contributing to the problem? What is this situation trying to teach you? Everything outside is a reflection of your inner world. What in your inner world needs to be healed or cleaned up? Another thing to consider is to learn more about yourself. Do you know who you are? Consider finding out what your body graph is to discover insight about yourself and your loved ones. Spend time with yourself to figure out what you truly want. Clear programmed beliefs that don't actually support you. Know that you are loved. You are worthy. You are capable. You've got this!
13. Keep a Sense Of Humor: Laughter is the best medicine, and it's important to keep a sense of humor in your marriage. Don't take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Humor can help diffuse tense situations and bring you closer together.
14. Jealousy is Wanting Something You “Believe” You Can’t Have: We are all human and many times jealousy comes up, especially early in the relationship. Realize that you are feeling jealous because it's something you want, but you believe you can’t have. Consider that it is possible to have what you want within your relationship. Look deep inside to see what is that you really want that you think you can’t have in your current situation, ex. more love, more tenderness, more grace. Then talk about what you want with your partner and make decisions from there. Oftentimes we think the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s not. If you have a hole inside that you are trying to fill, moving on to another person isn’t going to fill that, only you can fill that hole yourself.

In conclusion, a happy and healthy marriage takes work, but it's worth the effort. By practicing these tips, you can strengthen your knowing of yourself, and then your relationship with your spouse. Remember that a successful marriage is not about being perfect, but about being committed to both your highest goods and working together to build a life of love, happiness, and fulfillment.